Competitive soccer is intimidating to me because I have never played it before. It is even more intimidating in Africa, where your average player is at least 10 times as good as I am. It is seriously embarrassing sometimes to be in the game with them, and miss the most simple shot that they would have made with their eyes closed and in flip flops.
Today was the first training/practice for the ISH football team. I wanted to go, but I was also really scared. I was telling myself that I wouldn't be good enough, I have enough things to keep me busy, I won't fit in even if I join, etc. It started at 4. It was 4 and I still hadn't left my room. Feeling defeated, I went to sleep for 30 mins. I woke up at 4:45 to hear the group of players going to the field. I was still hesitating. Then I just decided that if you never try, you can never succeed and that the hardest part is always beginning. So I put my shoes on and went.
On the way, I talked to Ata who let me know that I am welcome on the team but may not play every game. He told me it is about what the team needs, not about being an all-star. He was just being polite, I know, but it was all I needed to feel comfortable. Practice was fun, I sweat a lot, and I did way better than I was expecting. Most importantly, I stayed committed to doing the crazy thing and putting myself in situations that are scary and intimidating to me. I feel strong
Oh, and did I mention my day started at 8:30 with a traditional dance class? Talk about putting yourself in situations where you are not naturally talented!
You're awesome Josh and now a tv star:) so glad you're in Ghana and I lOve reading about it:)
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